this blog is on hiatus

I have descended into my own personal hell. I know plenty of people who have had it so much worse than I have it, right now, so I do feel like a spoiled brat/wimp/woos/pussy/dirtball. But for me, I am in hell, and until I can dig myself back out somehow, I'm putting everything in my life on hold. As you've probably already noticed, I haven't posted in a while. And after I got your hopes all up (and mine, too) with the promise of painting proccess posts to come. Well, rather than continue to disappoint you with never posting, with maybe a hint of a chance that I might post sometime (that is, if anyone has even come back here to see) in the near future, I'm just going to put this blog on hiatus until Oliver's first birthday. So come back on September 10, if you want, and I promise I will post that day and let you know if the painting/blogging thing is back on. Best wishes to you all, have a great summer. Stay cute and cool!

I call upon you, friends

Okay, first, a vow to not post another crap entry. This is not the venue for such ranting and raving. At least not my ranting and raving. Others', perhaps, yes, but not mine. I can't do it in an enternaining way, though I do enjoy reading the blogs of those people who have the knack for witty sarcastic rants. But, I lack the talent for it, so, I hereby vow to cease any future attempts at it. Besides, cheerfulness begets cheerfulness, no? Now to the real entry:

I call upon you, my friends (heh, mostly family) to help me to get these commissioned portraits finished, ALREADY! I was commissioned to do three portraits in the summer of 2003. So we are going on three years now. I am so ashamed. I finished one of the three on christmas eve of 2003, but have been having serious, I mean SERIOUS, block issues. And the more time that goes by and I continue to neglect it, the harder it is becoming. I've GOT to finish these portraits, and give the photo albums back to their owners. I don't know if I will even charge these poor nice people for the price I quoted them three years ago, due to holding on to their albums for so long. In fact, I should pay THEM. I'm sure they hate me and curse my name every time they think of me or speak to each other about me. And won't it be lovely to not have to think about this nagging task that I have had nagging at me for the last THREE years? SHAMEFUL. But I have to get past all of this shameful shaming and just do it...

So I thought, it might be a point of interest (please correct me if I err) to you to see the process of a portrait. By doing this, perhaps I will trick myself into painting a portrait. So here is the process, from the beginning (sort of).

I've attached a photo of the photo albums and pictures I've gone through well over three dozen times:



And here are just a few of the many, many, many failed sketches (it is so difficult to get a likeness! Especially if you're rusty, as I am)



And here is the final sketch I finally decided on, ready to be transferred to the illustration board:



Next time: Sketch onto illustration board, painting prep, and underpainting! I'll even show you details of my painting tools, if that is of interest to you. I do hope you don't mind me calling upon you to help me get this done. already.

CURSES

this is a rant. just so you know. this is going to be a total crap entry. so if you don't want to read total crap--i'm thinking of another word right now, but i'm i know that there are children reading this, so i'll try to keep it rather clean--so, if you don't want to read total crap, then, move along, move along, because that is what this entry is. total crap.

so, to the rant. Man (again, stronger language here would seem so satisfying right now) I'm really beginning to RESENT wholeheartedly being sleep deprived. MAN, IT TOTALLY SUCKS!! It doesn't seem like there is any solution to it, either. WHICH. SUCKS. I mean, really, when all you see in your future for the next what will it be, 7 years? for the next seven years, waking up oh, let's see, 8 or so times a night, from a not very restful sleep in the first place, it sucks. It's a grim outlook, but can I hope for anything better? I think not. I'll just be disappointed, like I have the last month straight of trying everything in the book for getting at least THREE hours of straight uninterrupted sleep, I mean COME ON! Trying everything short of crying it out, which I never wanted to try, how awful, but i tried it tonight, and now I just have a wide awake baby who occasionally goes into nearly-vomiting coughing fits from all the screaming.

But hey, looking at the bright side, at least I have the opportunity to type a crap blog entry one-handed and eat a bowl of kix to add to my expanding waistline. What coulfd be funner at 2 in the morning. I don't know, I can't think of anything. Can you? SLEEP? Perhaps, but I think it's overrated.

Anyone who knows me knows how pleasant I am when I don't get adequate sleep (sorry, melanie for having to endure me after a week of jet lag...). Not fun. I have a really difficult time being patient. And gentle and loving with a little baby? Not the easiest thing, and difficult not to resent as the source of my slumber deprivation.

SUCKS. Here's me totally hating "nighttime parenting" as dr. sears tries to refer to the hell that is breastfeeding, co-sleeping, teething, squirming whining screaming, et cetera et cetera from the hours of I don't know, 8 pm to 8 am?

hating it.

Black Tuesday

I got news that yesterday the entire department (or very nearly) of Creative Services-- where I used to work--got laid off. It just makes me sick to my stomach. All of my friends and associates, except for a handful, are now gone. It's awful. I found out today that 40 of the 60 employees on that floor were laid off. It seems senseless to me. Hopefully all those people will move on to bigger and better things. I really feel for the 5 designers, 2 prepress people, and two production people that are left. What kind of nightmare they have been living through, and probably will be living through for the next little while.

Behold

Behold.


Look closely.


We now have teeth. Oh, the terror it strikes deep in my heart. I've already been bitten. Twice. Right where one would imagine to be probably the most tender part of the female body (nipples. pardon the inappropriateness of such a subject). I've also been bitten on my neck meat. Twice. Both times I screamed, and he thought it was the funniest joke ever. So I don't know what to do. I even gave him a bottle last night for fear of the teeth.

In other news, I finished Tye's bonnet just in time for the shower. Here it is before I applied the gigantic silk ribbon bows, which make the bonnet so darling and vintage, in my opinion, but so impractical, too, so if Tye ever needs to remove them, that's totally cool, she has my blessing. I don't have a picture with the bows, sorry.





And here is my second attempt at fortune cookies. What a disaster. I wonder if it is because some egg yolk got in with the egg whites or something? I'll have to keep practising so I can get it right in time for Mindy's wedding. I left the cocoa out with the first few, and, um, not so good. I guess you'll have to settle for the chocolate fortune cookies at your wedding mindy, unless I can figure it out before then.




And lastly, here is an advertisement I've been working on for Nu Skin. Funnest project I have ever done for them.