if you ever wondered

Thanks for the responses, everyone. I was surprised people are still coming back after so long, and so helpful even though I am so neglectful as far as commenting on others blogs. I'm getting help, hopefully. I still would like to find a psychiatrist, but apparently there really aren't any in Utah county. Or they're all in hiding or something. Heh.

Anyway, if you ever wondered if you had post-partum depression, if you read this book and it sounds familiar, then you can answer yes. (Well, other than the being famous and gorgeous part of it, of course--her descriptions of her experiences rang all too true for me.) Unfortunately, I waited way to long to read it, I perhaps could have saved myself and Kevin and Oliver a few years of misery had I read it sooner. Ironically, when it came out I was in the very thick of it, and didn't even realize it.

project get happy

Well, I doubt anyone is reading anymore as I've severely neglected this blog for so long, like so many other things in my life. But on the off-chance people are still checking occasionally, this post is a call for help.

So five days ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I guess I was trying to be in denial about it for years, but in any case, I was told I needed to find a psychiatrist who could prescribe the right antidepressant for me. So I am asking any of you if you have any experience with antidepressants or psychiatrists and might have any advice, referrals, or info that you think would be helpful for me as I try to get happy. If this is too public for you to comment here, please call or email me if that is better for you, as I well know how private and personal this sort of thing is. I'm trying to find a solution so that life can improve not only for me, but for Kevin and Oliver. They deserve so much more.