this is a rant. just so you know. this is going to be a total crap entry. so if you don't want to read total crap--i'm thinking of another word right now, but i'm i know that there are children reading this, so i'll try to keep it rather clean--so, if you don't want to read total crap, then, move along, move along, because that is what this entry is. total crap.

so, to the rant. Man (again, stronger language here would seem so satisfying right now) I'm really beginning to RESENT wholeheartedly being sleep deprived. MAN, IT TOTALLY SUCKS!! It doesn't seem like there is any solution to it, either. WHICH. SUCKS. I mean, really, when all you see in your future for the next what will it be, 7 years? for the next seven years, waking up oh, let's see, 8 or so times a night, from a not very restful sleep in the first place, it sucks. It's a grim outlook, but can I hope for anything better? I think not. I'll just be disappointed, like I have the last month straight of trying everything in the book for getting at least THREE hours of straight uninterrupted sleep, I mean COME ON! Trying everything short of crying it out, which I never wanted to try, how awful, but i tried it tonight, and now I just have a wide awake baby who occasionally goes into nearly-vomiting coughing fits from all the screaming.

But hey, looking at the bright side, at least I have the opportunity to type a crap blog entry one-handed and eat a bowl of kix to add to my expanding waistline. What coulfd be funner at 2 in the morning. I don't know, I can't think of anything. Can you? SLEEP? Perhaps, but I think it's overrated.

Anyone who knows me knows how pleasant I am when I don't get adequate sleep (sorry, melanie for having to endure me after a week of jet lag...). Not fun. I have a really difficult time being patient. And gentle and loving with a little baby? Not the easiest thing, and difficult not to resent as the source of my slumber deprivation.

SUCKS. Here's me totally hating "nighttime parenting" as dr. sears tries to refer to the hell that is breastfeeding, co-sleeping, teething, squirming whining screaming, et cetera et cetera from the hours of I don't know, 8 pm to 8 am?

hating it.


plugalong said...

I know it is so hard to be patient in the wee hours when you just want to sleep! I know someone who would turn on a video sit the child on the floor in front of it and snooze away on the couch behind him, or, with Ad, I learned to sleep on my back (never could do it before that) and she slept on my chest/ belly. I do relate though, I remember basically spanking Ammon as I "patted" is behind while he screamed and Adria (at 1 1/2 to 2 yr. old), having been woken up, clung to my lap demanding to be held or something. However, I promise it won't be for eight years - some nights here or there maybe, but mostly he'll eventually sleep through the night. Since you've used a bottle could K get up with him Friday and Saturday nights if he doesn't work weekends?
Hang in there.

megan said...

thanks for the understanding! I get a little irrational and super sarcastic when I'm not getting sleep. Kudos to you that you've been able to live through it! Five times over, too. Mercifully, we saw the pediatrician today, and she gave us a handout that gives me some hope. I guess it can't hurt to try, it's not likely that I'm going to lose any more sleep than I already am over it...