Nothing like ignoring 20 minutes of screaming to give one an ulcer

So, the last few days I've kind of been a little over-indulgent when it came to Oliver's naps and wake-up time. One morning I got him out before six a.m., one afternoon he pulled himself up to standing in his crib and screamed bloody murder, so I went in and "rescued him" and he slept in my arms. Another afternoon he fell asleep nursing and I just held him and napped myself, this morning at 4:00 Kevin held him until 5:30 am and I came out and nursed him. Then, of course Oliver was sleepy again at 7:30 and fell asleep nursing, I only let him sleep for fifteen minutes, but it was in my arms.

So, backsliding we are. When I did our morning nap routine about 30 minutes ago, I decided no more incosistent, intermittent reinforcement. I put Oliver in his crib like I usually did and am supposed to, and he SCREAMED straight for 20 minutes. Just when I was about to go get him, he finally calmed down and went to sleep. Seriously, I was at the door ready to go in--and do what, I don't know, but I wanted to stop my pounding heart, churning stomach, choking throat, and wracking guilt. Man, I feel so wretched when I have to let him figure it out himself. But, I don't want to go back to that awful, awful hell of sleep deprivation that I was in, so I hope we can get back on track fairly quickly again, so I can stop feeling like a cruel loathesome mother, and Oliver can get good rest.

3 comments:

plugalong said...

Yes backwards slides happen, it was probably good to cuddle with him a bit, but good to get back on schedule too. I haven't tried very hard to get Lando to sleep in his own bed, now that the crib is taken down he will just climb into ours, and I am usually too lazy to move him back. I think I have to learn something new because the other children pretty much had to move out as soon as the next baby came, there was no choice in the matter, but now...

megan said...

aaack, he is totally running on vapors. He would not take an afternoon nap either. I let him scream for ten minutes the first time, then tried again after he was getting drowsy in my arms, and he screamed (standing up) for another 10 minutes. By then I was a total wreck. Seriously, I don't know what is wrong with me, I can't stop blubbering. I finally took him over to Kevin's mom's so I don't emotionally damage him seeing me crying and sputtering and whatnot. I don't know what tonight is going to be like. What is it with all of this standing up? Do I just let him scream standing up for an entire hour? He knows how to get down. Sorry, I totally went off. I guess I've been bottling a bunch of anger resentment and disappointment up for the last few weeks and it's gotta come out somehow. I dunno. I'll shut up now.

Thanks for the comment. I'm stumped with your situation as much as I am with my own! aack. I better go get Oliver now.

plugalong said...

You know, though, I don't mind him in our bed much. Mostly I just think he should be sleeping in his own.