glee

flash back friday: Baby Ollie

2012-02-03T08:54:00.001-07:00

Oliver in all his delicious baby chubbiness. Nom. Nom. Nom. These were taken May of 2006, so he's about 8-ish months old. The time between Melanie and Mindy's weddings. A happy time. :)

Flashback Friday

2012-01-20T09:11:00.000-07:00

I've been looking through my photo library and finding some little gems that throw me back to some good times, and also some bad times. So I thought I'd start Flashback Friday. Here's the first one.

When Oliver was little, he was VERY demanding of my attention. It was during my depression, and I always felt exhausted, and never felt I had the energy to help him or play with him--poor little guy--as long as he wanted (think about the over and over and over and over and over again of a learning toddler/child) and so the moments that he found to entertain himself were always glorious rest times for me...

Then I would find out, much to my dismay, that usually what he chose to entertain himself with involved making a HUUUGE mess of some kind. Here you see we narrowly avoided disaster. In this case I chose to take a picture instead of get upset, and talk to him about not clogging the drain with toilet paper. There was another time where he got my make up brushes and used the liquid handsoap to paint a masterpiece on the bathroom mirror. Didn't get a picture of that, but I still remember what a pain it was to clean up. He still to this day loves playing in the sink and making "potions" as he calls them. Here is to my creative, resourceful little Oliver, just barely two years old in these photos.

More to come in the next weeks!

festival of trees 2012

2012-01-19T08:59:00.003-07:00

Ironically, we didn't get any real pictures of trees, we didn't really look at that many trees. Oliver enjoyed walking around the gingerbread village, and the Kids Corner is always were they want to be. Miriam had her fingernails painted for the first time in her life and was beyond the moon! They both talked to an elf on the phone. And best of all, it was really a great time this year going with cousins!

Goin' fishin:

GIANT BUBBLE! Miriam would NOT touch this with a 30 foot pole.

The adorability is hurting my eyes:

elf wand sword fight:

good cinnamon roll?

again, with the adorability and the eyes hurting...

Miriam was being a little mommy to Asher, telling him to take a drink and even trying to hold it up for him, silly girl. She also says, "when I grow up I'll be a little baby!"

Ring around the Roses:

christmas day 2011

2012-01-13T16:33:00.001-07:00

Christmas morning at the DHQJR, 2011. good times.
We were so lucky this year, and someone did the twelve days of Christmas for us--the kids loved it. For the 12th day of Christmas we were given this awesome nativity, and here you see the littles setting it up. We were often putting the children to bed when they would come, so I'm afraid we always got the gift in the morning, so I hope whoever it was didn't stand out in the cold for too long waiting for us to get the door! Sometimes we didn't even hear the knock! I would love to be able to be in a position to do this for a family next year, I really think it would be great for Oliver to experience the giving end next time.

For Miriam's birthday, I had absolutely no money put aside for presents. So I took some old linen pants and made a rag doll body, used Oliver's old cords for a little dress, and used some yarn from a stash that was given to me when miram was born, and made a little doll. I also had just knit Miriam a sweater (from the same stash of yarn) and made a little matching sweater from the leftover scraps. I'll have to post up a picture sometime. For Christmas, I made Oliver a boy ragdoll, but as you can see, it is not finished. Currently, at least he has some pants and half of his hair--I'll have to post that up soon, too...

Here my tired little ones are yawning over the Doll bunk bed that grandpa and I worked on in the weeks leading up to Christmas. ("Making Christmas! Making Christmas!" was in my head for two weeks, heh heh.) Again, no money for anything, so it was from our old crib that was totally broken. It had been sitting out in the garden and next to the house in pieces for a year...I brought it in and started hacking away at it...brought the pieces to grandpa and told him kind of what I had in mind, and then he pretty much took it from there. He thankfully had screws and extra scraps of wood to make it suitable to stand up to childrens play. The kids really played and played with this on Christmas and the week after Christmas.

The quilts are from grandma's scrap pile--it's called a primitive heart pattern. Miriam's doll's quilt was finished first..grandma already had the orange hearts and white squares cut out, so all I had to do was assemble them. Oliver's dolls's quilt isn't quilted yet, but I finished it Christmas eve night at about 1:00 a.m. and Miriam kept waking up all night long, so I gave up at about 2:00 trying to get back to the quilt. Still not finished, but hey, I don't think Oliver or Miriam noticed.

Opening stockings, playing tic-tac-toe as they go.

daylight finally shines in on us...the tea set is from ikea, and they have really had a blast having tea party's or playing "restaurant". If you're concerned that Oliver didn't get any toys that were not "let's play house" themed...never fear, he got some lego sets and was very happy! They all got a book to read, too.

It was really a fun Christmas for me, I think the family enjoyed it, too. It was in sharp contrast to the very unhappy Christmas that we had last year. but that's another story for another post, I suppose.

Christmas Eve at the DHQ JR

2012-01-08T14:13:00.001-07:00

I thought I'd better get Christmas up here before we get too far out. So we had just a lovely Christmas Eve. After Miri and Ollie and I spent some time at the WHQ (were I was still trying to get some gifts finished) we met back up with Kevin at home and got the fire going. I think. Did we got the the DHQ senior before we went home? I don't remember. I do remember how willing the children were to help with the cleaning up of the home so that Santa could find his way from the fireplace to the Christmas tree, heh, heh.
So with the generous donation of some Christmas flannel that Grandma J gave to me, I sewed some Christmas PJS for Kevin and the littles. Tons of fun, but took me long enough. I think I finished sewing the last stitches the Eve of Christmas Eve. Anyhoo, for some reason, Oliver felt it neccessary to open them around the kitchen table. Huh? Alright, whatever. Perhaps another tradition, eh?

And then came the crowning moment of singing Silent Night and putting our homemade Baby Jesus in his homemade cinnamon stick manger (Kevin's got lashing skill, yo). Both the children wanted to have a turn putting him in the manger, and they were so happy that he had a soft, cozy bed to sleep in--thanks to their acts of service and kindness throughout the month. (For each act of service or kindness, they got to place a piece of straw into his manger). You can see Oliver holding the "star" over the manger. :) It was a very lovely, peaceful Christmas Eve, and I hope these are the beginnings of some traditions for our little family for years to come.

Miri had to give the baby Jesus a kiss, but I missed it with the camera...

Build and Grow at Lowe's

2012-01-06T10:11:00.003-07:00

I lived in Orem close to 11 years, and 5 of them with children, and I frequented the Lowe's Home Improvement store for most of those years--for gardening supplies and most of my needs when it came to projects and home improvements. In all that time, I never knew about their free kids clinics on Saturdays. It took me moving two cities away to find out about them. In any case, we went to the three that they had leading up to Christmas (they built a christmas engine, coal car, and caboose). The kids get their own apron, goggles and building kits. And when they finish their item, they get a builder's patch to sew on their apron. Needless to say, Oliver has already misplaced all of the above items. Miriam still has her apron, goggles and a one patch, but we lost her entire train. sigh.

In any case, both Oliver and Miriam LOVED it, they can't wait to go to the next two coming up in January.

Snow Man Dance

2012-01-06T10:00:00.001-07:00

Oliver was so excited for us to see his Snowman Dance before school let out for the Christmas break. Miriam still talks about it. It was darling--I guess it's been a Valley View tradition for the kindergarteners to do this dance before the older kids' Christmas program. Here are the pictures...Where's Snowman Oliver? Hint: he's wearing a red and black scarf.

Here's Miriam waiting semi-patiently for Oliver to do his Snowman Dance:

I had to get a picture of his friend Abby. She's in the other kindergarten class, so they were opposite ends of the stage.

Good stuff!

bringing in the new year with a post for last year

2012-01-02T09:04:00.006-07:00

Happy New Year. Just wanted to post something, anything, really quickly, to get this (blog) party started, yeeeeaah! So Oliver was out of school and I decided we needed to DO something, so I took the children to see the Santa Claus at the University Mall. They were charging a hefty $25 or something for a photo with Santa, and no personal photography was permitted, so I didn't get a pic of Ollie on Santa's lap (and Miri would not be within 9 feet of the poor man) but I did get pictures of their chocolate sucker faces playing in the children's play area of the mall.

Chocolate face:

Miri has to try out every floor, no matter how dirty, hard, lumpy, or disgusting it might be. Oliver decided to join in and make some "floor" angels. There were snowflakes, after all, right? So I suppose it's not a huge stretch of the imagination...

More chocolate face. I didn't have any wipes or tissues or anything.

being reinspired, remotivated, and reiterated

2011-12-09T14:14:00.002-07:00

I just met with a good friend, who has inspired me to get back to blogging--her bound anthologies of her years ijf blogging that will be cherished by her family "for decades to come" have made me rethink my reasons for blogging (or not blogging, rather) and I'd love to be able to make a book of our year in 2012.

Starting this Monday. LOL!

reminder to myself.

2011-10-08T12:28:00.000-06:00

halloween costumes

our condo is for sale

2010-07-07T12:05:00.014-06:00

Will it ever sell? What a horrible time to put your home up for sale. Great time to buy, though, eh? And we would, if we could ever sell this place. :) Here is what our house looks like a little more of the time nowadays:

oliver's art

2010-07-03T12:51:00.002-06:00

our printer doesn't work, so oliver said he wanted to save this picture and put it up on the internet. so. here it is.

The books that changed everything last summer

2010-03-27T22:03:00.002-06:00

It all started with a five dollar bagel sandwich last summer. But that's a bit of a story, so I'll have to save it for when I have some time. But that five dollar bagel sandwich led me to these books (and the blogs in the blogroll to the right) that have entirely changed everything I thought I knew about food and nutrition. And I'm thinking this is only the beginning.

In Defense of Food, Michael Pollan
The Omnivore's Dilemma, Michael Pollan
Nourishing Traditions, Sally Fallon
The Unhealthy Truth (This one got me really riled up), Robyn O'Brien
Real Food, Nina Planck
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, Barbara Kingsolver
And this website: Weston A. Price Foundation (his book, Nutrition and Physical Degeneration is on my list of books to read, and when I have the money in my budget I would love to become a member of the local chapter of the foundation.)

Read them. If you don't have time, take an hour and watch Food, Inc. the movie--it sums it all up rather nicely. Talk to me about them. I'm learning how to cook, and loving it! Join me in trying to be healthier, happier, and nourish my children.

Prior to the bagel incident I had read a couple of books that were also influential:

In Praise of Slowness, Carl Honore
Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser

Also, why I drink my milk raw (unpasteurized).

miribirthollie3

2010-01-16T11:01:00.001-07:00

miribirthollie3, originally uploaded by doodlemeg.

Ollie meets baby sister, about 8 hours old.

Flickr

2010-01-16T10:18:00.001-07:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

trying to post some pics

2010-01-16T10:00:00.003-07:00

Introducing

2009-11-17T17:25:00.004-07:00

Miriam Rose Duncan
born November 15, 2009
12:43 a.m.
10 lbs.
!
21 inches
not a lot of hair, but not bald, either
chubby, chubby cheeks and a double chin
We're all doing really well (if a little tired), and are so happy to finally have our baby sister here in our arms.

I do believe Melanie is the winner and I will be in contact with you, Melanie, to work out the details of your hat. :)

Heh, heh, I was the furthest off on absolutely everything. Heh. Nobody guessed anything above or below the 8 lb range, which I find terribly amusing (especially my wishful guess, HAH!) Anyway, thanks for not guessing 10 lbs, even though that's what she came out being. It really was so nice of you all, and I appreciated not getting the "YOU look like you're going to POP!" comments from any of you. You guys are truly the best family EVER!

I've never had problems uploading photos to blogger, but there is some kind of error. I'll try one more time, but you guys may have to wait for photos. Sorry!

post your guesses here

2009-10-21T20:29:00.000-06:00

I thought I'd open up my blog to a contest for a little fun these last dragging weeks. So, whoever gets the closest stats to actual birth, wins a free hand-knitted hat made by moi (though I'm not guaranteeing it will be THIS winter that it will actually be knit for you, heh, heh.)

So here we go, you've got 6 categories to guess:

1. Day of Birth (for those of you who don't know, the official "due" date is Nov. 15--and I'm only telling you that for this contest. If I see you on Nov. 15, or Nov. 22, I DON'T want to talk about it.) ;)
2. Time of Birth
3. Boy or Girl (Even I don't know this one, but hey, you've got a 50/50 chance!)
4. Weight
5. Length
6. Miscellaneous (anything you want to add? Hair? Baldness? Furry ears?)

Have fun and good luck! (I'll add my guesses after everyone so you're not swayed by my insider opinion. Hey, I want to win a handknit hat, too!)

cause for concern?

2009-08-25T13:09:00.003-06:00

Today, my nearly 4-year-old son said, "I like movies."

I said, "Oh, that's nice, dear."

Then he said, "Have you ever seen Windzee Wohan?"

(Lindsay Lohan.)

I don't know if this should be cause for concern or not.

good to the last bite

2009-08-04T09:03:00.003-06:00

I've recently finished reading Michael Pollan's book The Omnivore's Dilemma and so when another of his articles about food and cooking was published yesterday in the New York times, I naturally wanted to read it. Good to the last bite. :) I've been trying to cook more at home, using my own kitchen as my own processing plant so that I can choose exactly what I'm putting in my body. It's true it has taken a lot more time and energy, and I'm learning the "how" as I go (thank goodness for mom and the internet!) so it is definitely not convenient. The planning part is where I'm finding the biggest difficulties. Oh, and getting family members to actually eat what I make is a whole other story--can be very discouraging at times. But I'm sticking to it for at least my own health and the baby's. Seriously, though, people only spend 40 minutes cooking and cleaning up in a day? I must be slow. I'm finding breakfast takes at least an hour (cooking and clean up) and dinner, pffff, I don't even know if you count the shopping and mishaps and whatnot. That's not to say that I'm cooking dinner everyday, because I'm not, but I would like to be cooking the majority of our meals soon. Especially after reading the Omnivore's Dilemma and Robyn O'Brien's book "The Unhealthy Truth." Then the only problem will be to get the child to eat it, and not hold out for the ice cream and cake at the next birthday party or for fruit snacks and soda at the next visit with grandma or the candy from Primary. Know what I mean?

Now how can I still learn to cook, manage everything, start a joyschool, go to work, get ready for baby, get ollie to swim lessons and still get to go see Food, Inc. and Julie and Julia? ;) Not to mention laundry, heh.

I hate the TV

2009-07-28T08:42:00.003-06:00

I have a love hate relationship with the TV. I love it when I want to actually ACCOMPLISH something, and I can plop Ollie in front of it and actually string a few thoughts together and perhaps finish the dishes or laundry in peace. But I also HATE that I actually DO that. I hate that the first thing Ollie does when he wakes up is demand to watch something on TV and turns the TV on. Couch potato at age 3. Nice. I hate that by the end of the day all I want to do is sit in peace cause I feel so tired, and so the temptation is there again to put a movie on so I can actually sit and rest.

I'm one of those weirdos that doesn't really watch much television or movies, much to my husband's disappointment. Honestly, people say they don't believe people like me when they say they don't watch TV, but I am, I am weird like that. Admittedly, I do like to tune out and escape(see paragraph above) and I do enjoy watching a movie to accommodate that desire, but I can do that just as easily with a crossword or novel.

I just hate the tv. LOATHE ENTIRELY. and wish that it had never become such a huge part of ollie's childhood.

maybe another reason to avoid HFCS

2009-06-29T08:58:00.003-06:00

Another reason to avoid High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Not that I'm hugely worried about me or the baby, because the items on the list are items I never consume, but Oliver does get exposure to these "types" of foods more often than I prefer. And he likes them and craves them.

We may have to switch over entirely to Izze's for Kevin's sake.

This one is for you, Melanie

2009-06-26T08:32:00.001-06:00

eat food. not too much. mostly plants.

2009-06-17T18:48:00.004-06:00

From Michael Pollan's book In Defense of Food:

"That one should feel the need to mount a defense of 'the meal' is sad, but then I never would have thought 'food' needed defending, either. Most readers will recall the benefits of eating meals without much prompting from me. It is at the dinner table that we socialize and civilize our children, teaching them manners and the art of conversation. At the dinner table parents can determine portion sizes, model eating and drinking behavior, and enforce social norms about greed and gluttony and waste. Share meals are about much more than fueling bodies; they are uniquely human institutions where our species developed language and this thing we call culture."

I feel I have failed miserably in this regard as far as Ollie's upbringing so far. Currently, and despite some effort on my part, his favorite place to eat now is in front of the TV. Partly because I gave up trying to fight him to the table, and partly because of some other influences in his life, the innocent of which shall remain nameless.

A good read, by the way. Some of it I was already aware of and some of it was a surprising and new--a new way of looking at our current food culture and the historical shaping/molding of our current state in America. To the farmers market I go. Although, it's kind of sad that I picked up this book at the very same time as trying to considerably decrease our monthly food budget. Cause real food ain't cheap.

a glimpse into my chaotic mind

2009-05-06T07:49:00.004-06:00

This is my to do list. And my try-to-make-some-kind-of-decision-about-this-issue-soonish list. And think-about-this-later-when-brain-isn't-exploding list. And don't-forget-this list. And it's not everything, either. If only I could fit everything onto an 8.5 x 11 peice of paper. But it was a relief to spill it out onto some paper to give my mind some rest for a while.

indecision

2009-05-05T14:15:00.012-06:00

I've been thinking about painting my kitchen cabinets for over two years now. One thing that has been keeping me from painting them is the idea that it will make our apartment harder to sell when it comes time to sell. The other is that I just can't decide what color. I look through magazines and online and see things that I like, but then can't visualize how it will look on MY kitchen. I've also dreamed of putting a hard floor in our dining area (currently, we have carpet under the table. As you can imagine, it's a pain to clean up after infant/toddler and lazy parent (me) and the carpet is in very poor condition) and I don't know what color to put on the floor. So one day I was thinking maybe I could have some fun in photoshop and quickly "paint" my cabinets without any money or time invested in a possibly horrible mistake. As you can see, I got a little carried away. And I'm still not any closer to deciding.

contradiction

2009-05-02T10:22:00.001-06:00

For being a "healthy condition" and not a disease, pregnancy sure feels like illness to me.

rats-o

2009-02-15T14:52:00.000-07:00

fat load of good those flu shots did us.

gobble gobble gobble

2008-11-20T22:45:00.003-07:00

Thanks to my friend Michie, I finally dusted off my running shoes (or rather, referred to them as running shoes, rather than sneakers, heh) and started getting my butt out of bed to get myself stronger for this race.*

Kyle's said he's going to run it with me. Melanie and Ryan said they might be interested in joining us. Any other takers? There are also kids races. Woohoo! You can sign up online here or at Runner's Corner, maybe? I thought there was an earlybird discount, but I'm not seeing it now, so I don't know. I'm registering tomorrow. yes. definitely. Unless I remember I'm a cheapskate and decide to not pay the extra online fee and sign up in person to save a few bucks. In which case I will probably put it off so long I'll have to pay the extra late registration fee. HA. That is so like me.

Also. I have found I LOVE running to Sigur Ros. I never would have thought, but it is absolutely perfect. For me anyway. Thanks, Kevin! So if you see a "waydy" (Ollie's pronunciation of "lady") with a gigantic goofy grin on her face with her shirt on backward bobbing to some music--well, that's me, and if you look away and pretend you don't know me, I totally understand. And if you wave and grin goofily back, I love you forever!

*Note: I will not be racing. I'm just your average middle-aged turkey hoping to waddle to the finish line without any disasters and only a little more huffing and puffing than usual (as it is 4 miles--not the usual 3.1 or 3.2 or whatever it is).

This is not the post that I have been composing/imagining in my head for the last three months. Oh, well. Delusions of grandeur.

P.S. There is also a Nutcracker 5k the next weekend. You can wear a tutu and you get free tickets to the nutcracker. Kids races, also. Anyone want to do that one with me?

better late than never

2008-11-16T07:41:00.003-07:00

you're invited

2008-09-08T20:24:00.002-06:00

Hey, everyone, I was going to make up a cute digital invitation for y'all but I can't seem to string five minutes together to get anything done these past few weeks, unless I'm at my parents' place, in which case, my computer is never with me. So, here's the boring no-visual invitation.

You're invited!
Please come to a pedicure party.
Thursday, September 18, 6:30 p.m.
Come for some pampering, chatting, and cream puffs. Or, if you are of the healthier type, come for fruits and veggies. If all else fails, though, there's always the cream puffs. Or donuts. Or brownies...hmmm, maybe some cheesecake? Something good, anyway.

If you read this blog, have ever read this blog, or will read this blog sometime in the future, you are invited, and I would be tickled pink if you could make it. It's at my place, and if you don't know where I live let me know and I'll get you the info.

So if you could let me know in the next few days if you can make it (either call, email me, or leave a comment) so I can get enough pedicure supplies, (those little toeseparatorthingermajiggers, basins, cottonballs, etc.) I would really appreciate it! Let's have a good time and get our feet all prettied up for the remaining sandal-wearing days. Though, I could be wrong, is it after Labor Day fashion "etiquette" says you shouldn't wear sandals? Or is it just white shoes that are the no-no?

Just bring your beautiful little selves and perhaps a nail color to swap or share or keep all to yourself. :)

Things to do before I die

2008-08-13T10:02:00.004-06:00

Things to do before I die, preferably before I'm 65 years old:

• Amanda and Jared's portrait (this could be portraitS if I could just get the first one done. That they've been waiting 5 years for. Ugh. I actually felt physically nauseated typing that.)

• Illustrations for Marci's two darling toddler stories.

• Mom's painting that Dad commissioned not last Christmas but the Christmas before that.

• Cathie's Halloween book scanned and cleaned up and typeset and set to go at LULU.com

ª Hi-D and Dal's announcement and thank you card finished and sent to print.

• Murals in Monica's kids rooms.

• Melanie's logo. (Don't worry, Melanie, I'm getting to it this week. It won't be five years, I promise!)

• And if I could finish all that, then maybe I could actually agree to do the illustrations that Maecy asked if I would like to do--which I would really love to do, unless she has found someone else already.

And so what I don't get, is, I love painting and drawing and crafting, etc. But dang it, why can't I get these things done? It's because there is no time! Where is the time? I just don't get how people do all that they do, and still sleep and have time to watch movies or go to events.

A-HA

2008-08-02T08:50:00.002-06:00

Red handed. Or rather, butter handed.

evidence

2008-08-01T07:17:00.002-06:00

Somebody has been in the butter again. I'll give you 2 guesses. The first guess doesn't count.

back to doodling

2008-07-31T16:24:00.001-06:00

Thought I'd get back to posting some doodles. This is the back of a Ward Directory that I was doodling on (yes, during church) in 2005. The ward is probably 70% different now then it was then. We were brainstorming ideas for cards to "announce" that we were expecting. It was before we knew we were having a boy or a girl. Ah, I was so innocent and idealistic then. Now I'm just jaded, so if I were to create a similar announcement card these days, it would probably be a lot different!

If I recall correctly, I think we went with the very last idea at the very bottom of the page. Heh. We're crazoweirdies. (For you, Mollie's mom, ala Nikki.)

happy birthday yesterday, mom

2008-07-30T07:16:00.003-06:00

So I was lucky enough to get a scrumptious chocolate orange cupcakes recipe from Melanie, who is starting her own cupcake business! I made these cupcakes last night for me madre's birthday. I wasn't able to get the correct ingredients for the frosting, so I just made the same kind for both the chocolate cupcakes and the cotton candy cupcakes. They turned out delicious. How could they not, when they have the word "scrumptious" in the title? Thanks for sharing with me this time, Melanie!

family reunion

2008-07-24T07:29:00.011-06:00

I suppose I fancied myself a photographer. Well, it's humbling to find a photographer I am not. But we do have a wad of photographs not only to prove that, but also as a bit of a record of our trip together. This is just a selection of the many photos. Someday I'll post some more or figure out how to make and post a slideshow while simultaneously doing dishes and laundry, attending to Ollie's every whim (what a pill the last few days he has been!), and finishing every painting I ever owed anybody, keeping up on the news, living green, preparing sharing time and making sure Ollie doesn't eat junk. All without losing a stitch of sleep.

Wish me luck. Heh.

the last of the chores

2008-07-10T06:58:00.009-06:00

I know, it's getting kind of old, so I'm just going to post the rest of the batch now.
There are a few that are lost, like, "scrub tub" and the big "vacuum" (Ollie's toy vacuum actually does pick a tiny bit of dirt up, heh). And I realized I also don't have the big odious chores, like, "Clean Refrigerator" or "Clean Porch/Entryway/Door" or "Clean out and Vacuum and Wash Car." I suppose I have to break those big ones into little steps, too.

more chores

2008-07-01T07:00:00.008-06:00

(I had to put something fun to do in there!)

(The "wee" trash just means the "little" trash. When Ollie first started talking he would use the word "wee" for something small, and use the sign for "little" at the same time. It was very cute.)

ollie's bedtime routine

2008-06-29T06:07:00.005-06:00

Here's a photo of the chores after I had them laminated.

We also did the same thing with Ollie's bedtime routine. "Brush Teeth" has been lost probably since the day I tried to use our little velcro system. It never worked, and Ollie has to pull them down if I ever try to tidy up, so I've just given up. I guess at least I was trying, huh?

If the chores are cute, maybe I'll actually do them

2008-06-28T07:09:00.010-06:00

Back in December last year, when I was sinking to some new lows in housekeeping, I decided I would make myself a chore chart, and maybe that would help me. Here are a few of those chores. I never worked out a chart, and still haven't used these, even though I have them laminated and thought I would make some fabric pocketed deal of "to do" or "done" and one for Ollie and one for me. Now I'm thinking I might print them smaller and steal my niece's idea. She has a big metal board on her wall and has made a bunch of darling little magnets. (For an example and instructions, click here.)

Yeah. That'll happen. Heh.

pigtails

2008-06-27T07:35:00.004-06:00

Going through this sketchbook, I've noticed quite a few doodles of girls with braids or pigtails or funky hair. Here are a few pigtail doodles. One really reminds me of melanie, remember her looooong luscious side ponytail from back in the day?

baby shower

2008-06-26T07:20:00.008-06:00

I threw my first baby shower this past weekend. It was a crazy day because we had a primary activity right before, so I ended up with about an hour before the shower to clean house and prep food. But at least all of the food had been obtained before, phew! I'd love to say it was a smashing success, but disappointingly, it wasn't. Only 3 of the 18 people I invited showed up. Is it me? It's me, isn't it? I was left with a TON of food. That cheesecake? Was still as you see it on Monday. I'm not a big fan of most cheesecakes--preferring the homemade pudding type to the baked type--but I know most people love cheesecake, so I got one. I didn't care for any, and apparently nobody else did. Not my family, not Kevin's family. I finally pawned it off on mom to take to her co-workers.

I borrowed a bunch of serving dishes from Kevin's mom, which made a huge difference in the presentation, I think. And the cupcakes! My friend, Melanie, the award-winning cupcake expert, was kind enough to share a couple of recipes for cupcakes with me. Pictured here are her cotton-candy cupcakes, which not only look fabulous, but are also delicious. Thanks, Melanie! I also made the lemon chiffon cupcakes, but it was after the fact, just my family enjoyed those ones, but they were equally, if not more, delicious. These had no problem disappearing.

I also included the digital invite that I had to throw together rather quickly. (Don't mind the blurry scribblies though. I thought it was best to do that with sensitive info. You know.) It was fun designing again. But that's probably because it was for something fun, and I could do whatever I wanted. If anyone needs a digital invitation, let me know, I'll be happy to have a shot at it.

a whole page

2008-06-25T07:01:00.003-06:00

Thanks everyone for reading and looking at my doodles and responding!

And here is an entire page of randomness. Wow, aren't you guys so lucky that I'm so completely lazy? Heh.

doesn't she look fabulous

2008-06-23T14:59:00.002-06:00

Okay, so the photography is bad, the lights/whites are totally blown out, but doesn't Mindy look so cute? I was snapping shots at Dal and Hi-D's wedding to practice the photography skillz. Heh, didn't make much progress, but I still think the subject matter looks smashing.

another doodle. Wow, this time it's a SET.

2008-06-23T14:46:00.004-06:00

Here's a little group of doodles I found nearer the spine than my scanning skillz can obviously handle. Also, am lazy.

Going from the notes surrounding the doodles, I'm thinking I was doodling during a "parenting" class at education week in 2000 or 2001.

twirly dress

2008-06-22T09:36:00.004-06:00

Today's daily doodle says a little about how much of a girly-girl I was or wanted to be when I was younger. I did this doodle years ago, but it was because I was thinking about how when I was younger and my mom always made our Sunday dresses/Easter dresses, I pretty much always requested it be a twirly dress. If I could spin around and the dress lifted up to tutu heights, it passed the test. I loved Cinderella's dress, and I had a friend who was a clogger and I loved their clogger dresses with the yards and yards and yards of petticoats. I was fascinated with the dresses I saw where the skirt attached to the hands of the dancer. (Was it a ballroom dance or talent show or play or something on TV? I really don't remember) I loved ballerina tutus and ball gowns and mermaid hair--heh, who cared about the actual dancing or what the story was. The dresses! Truthfully, I'm still pretty much the same. Okay, okay, so that was too long of an explanation for just a silly little doodle, so on with the doodle! Here it is:

how will we ever decide?

2008-06-20T19:13:00.004-06:00

After seeing my friend Melanie's son's portraits, we had Mary do our family portrait, and she made us looks fabulous. I really love her photography--beautiful. I'd love to see some of her printmaking masterpieces, as she's also very talented in that area.

But how are we ever going to decide on just a handful of photos? We love every single one she posted on her blog.

And another doodle. It must have been during my lisbeth zwerger phase. I'm still in the phase, it just hasn't manifested itself in any recent doodles because I haven't been doodling:

teddy bear in chair

2008-06-18T06:19:00.003-06:00

This doodle is larger than actual size, in real life it's only about as big as my thumb. For a while I was stuck on drawing little teddy bears.

aaaw. cute. (heh.)

doodles

2008-06-14T06:49:00.003-06:00

some silly doodles

the irony and another doodle

2008-06-12T14:23:00.003-06:00

Yay, Ollie is taking a nap!

This is the irony: I'm currently starting to read a book about meditation for mothers, and I'm in the chapter on mindfulness. And here is the passage I had to go back and start reading over again, oh, I don't know, perhaps seven times, because my mind was wandering and the thoughts were clamoring:

"Mindfulness saves energy and time. With poor concentration, we need to repeat some of our actions because we didn't perform them mindfully the first time. An unclear mind may cause you to forget where you put things, why you came into a room, whether you locked the car, even your train of thought mid-conversation. Mindfulness counteracts absent-mindedness and cultivates mental sharpness."

Heh, I might add that an unclear mind often requires me to go back and reread a paragraph seven times before I'm finally present and paying attention.

And here is a post from a loose piece of paper that was stashed in an old sketchbook from around 2000-2001. I'm not quite sure when I drew this because I hardly ever dated anything. The next few daily sketches are going to be from this sketchbook. These will be just straight, raw sketches, with no clean-up or touch up. That's just a little disclaimer that my perfectionistic little self had to put out there.

(I think if you click on it you can open it a little larger)

welp, so much for daily doodle

2008-06-11T06:24:00.003-06:00

So much for the daily doodle. I suppose it could get boring after a while, eh? Just doodle after doodle after doodle? 365 of them? I'll just try to get something up daily, and it'll probably come out about the right amount, knowing my track record. Maybe I could call it a weekly doodle.

Reading, writing, and commenting on blogs can really eat up your time, can't it? Not to say I don't love it, just an observation.

I'll post a doodle today if Ollie takes a nap.

monday's doodle

2008-06-09T16:20:00.002-06:00

I almost didn't get a chance to post something day. I have an idea it's going to be like this on most days. In any case, here is the beginning of a series that I'll have to explain another time, because I don't have time tonight.

daily doodle

2008-06-08T08:10:00.002-06:00

happy wedding!

and so begins my daily doodle quest

2008-06-06T23:50:00.002-06:00

Several months ago Ollie, Kevin and I went to dinner at our friends the amazing Hippens' house. Both Seth and Karalenn are extremely talented, not only with drawing/painting/creating, but musically and well, in SO MANY WAYS I can't even begin. Heh, I don't know why they are friends with us. ;) We sat and looked through each others' sketchbooks, and they asked me if I still draw. And I was sad to realize that I really haven't even doodled that much since Ollie was born. So part of me thought about starting a little project where I would post a doodle a day, whether it was a doodle I doodled 7 years ago or one that I did while eating breakfast with Oliver. Just to get a pen or pencil or whatever back in my hand. So that I can stop feeling sorry for myself that everyone is so much more accomplished and prolific and creative and talented than me, when really, that's not even the point. My house is getting in order, so I can finally start thinking about having them over HERE for dinner next time. But I digress. Here is the sketch. A little background on it, if you're interested, I was just sitting down to start drawing Dal and Heidi for their wedding announcement and was getting frustrated trying to draw grown-ups, and this is a little sketch of a baby that just seemed to pop up. I guess as I was sitting there I was absent-mindedly thinking about all the babies that seem to be making their debuts. (Or at least soon to be). Babies on the brain. Maybe I'll post that pic of Dal and Hi-D tomorrow. :)

Finarry.

2008-06-06T22:50:00.022-06:00

So, I've been thinking of about a gazillion different posts, and have about a gazillion different photos to share, and so here I am (late at night when I should be sleeping) with no idea where to start.

What it is.

So, here is the progress that has been one small (yet so huge) part of my "recovery." It is really embarrassing to show everyone this. So why am I doing it? I don't know, I guess I like pain. No, I guess by doing this it's like it's no longer going to be a shameful deep dark secret. When I finish this post I'm going to proceed with my plans of posting a daily doodle.

Heh, so here goes nothing: (Just please, please don't report me!)

Okay, so I just spent an hour uploading these photos and trying to put them in descending order, but it didn't work. So they are in ascending order. So you'll have to look at them from the end of the post and back to see that I am making progress. Otherwise it looks like I'm backsliding. (which, actually I am, I need to recommit and get back to that good feeling when things are under control and peaceful, and the sink is clean enough at any hour that Ollie can climb in and play, which he loves to do. It had been covered for SO LONG that it was like discovering buried treasure for him. He spent nearly three days straight just playing with measuring cups and colanders and whatever you can think of.)

The last of my photo experiment. Being accountable to the camera really helped motivate me. Maybe I'll have to keep doing that to get myself back on track:

there really is a nice little space hiding under all that mess:

flowers and fruit baskets make me happy:

This is after about two hours of finishing the kitchen and dining area. You can see the piles of trash and items to be recycled to the right:

More from that same night:

Before the two hour clean-up. If I could just maintain it on a regular basis, I wouldn't need to muster enough energy to work for two hours to get it back to how I like it:

Ollie's favorite place to play. This was after a botched dinner attempt. I finally felt good enough to try a new recipe, and it flopped big time. You can see the back up apple jacks in the bowl on the floor.

Shiny sink. Flylady is right. If only I had listened to her before it went so horribly wrong:

now half the kitchen is clean:

You can see where I started, in the right hand corner and the stove. That was one small babystep.

Another "before again" shot:

It's all gone to pot again. "Before" again shot:

This was supposed to be the beginning of the "after" shots, but as you see coming up, it all just went down the tubes again, because I struggle with just daily maintenance and picking up. This was before I committed to just keeping the sink clean and the dishes done no matter what. That was the only babystep to conquer.

Another before shot:

Another "before" shot:

Another "before" shot:

The first "before" shot:

And there you have it. In all it's glory. In reverse order. I hope you enjoyed it. Heh. You can feel free to enjoy as much schadenfreude as you want. ;)

How true, how true.

2008-05-08T15:02:00.004-06:00

Don't know what to say about this picture of post-it notes, just that it's kind of appropriate for some of my issues the last little while.

Perhaps I'll be brave and share with you all some of my progress in my next post. I only say "brave" because to illustrate the progress I have to expose one of my embarrassing weaknesses. You know, that weakness that the post-it notes refer to so delicately--being "organizationally challenged."

if you ever wondered

2008-03-22T11:29:00.004-06:00

Thanks for the responses, everyone. I was surprised people are still coming back after so long, and so helpful even though I am so neglectful as far as commenting on others blogs. I'm getting help, hopefully. I still would like to find a psychiatrist, but apparently there really aren't any in Utah county. Or they're all in hiding or something. Heh.

Anyway, if you ever wondered if you had post-partum depression, if you read this book and it sounds familiar, then you can answer yes. (Well, other than the being famous and gorgeous part of it, of course--her descriptions of her experiences rang all too true for me.) Unfortunately, I waited way to long to read it, I perhaps could have saved myself and Kevin and Oliver a few years of misery had I read it sooner. Ironically, when it came out I was in the very thick of it, and didn't even realize it.

project get happy

2008-03-10T08:19:00.002-06:00

Well, I doubt anyone is reading anymore as I've severely neglected this blog for so long, like so many other things in my life. But on the off-chance people are still checking occasionally, this post is a call for help.

So five days ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I guess I was trying to be in denial about it for years, but in any case, I was told I needed to find a psychiatrist who could prescribe the right antidepressant for me. So I am asking any of you if you have any experience with antidepressants or psychiatrists and might have any advice, referrals, or info that you think would be helpful for me as I try to get happy. If this is too public for you to comment here, please call or email me if that is better for you, as I well know how private and personal this sort of thing is. I'm trying to find a solution so that life can improve not only for me, but for Kevin and Oliver. They deserve so much more.

the duncan's, elfed

2007-12-20T13:18:00.001-07:00

I elfed our family.

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.*edit

2007-11-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

It's getting to be that time of year again. So I thought I would post this for easy family reference. Here is what we figured out for the rotation in 2007 (this year. hee.)

Mark has Monica
Kurt has Megan
Jedd has Melanie
Monica has Mindy
Megan has Micquel
Dal has Kyle
Melanie has Mark
Kyle has Dal
Mindy has Kurt
Micquel has Jedd

*Edit: I just realized how very rude it was for me to exlude two very important members of the Walker family. So here they are included in the Walker Family Gift Exchange as it should have been from the beginning! I'm truly sorry, and hope no feelings were hurt!

has anybody here seen kelly?

2007-11-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I used that title, the quote just popped into my head and got stuck there. So. There you go.

Actually I was wondering if anybody that reads this blog is familiar with ftp sites and how they work and how one would go about setting one up and how much something like that would cost and that sort of thing. (<---Run-on sentence!) As cute as it is, it would be nice not to have to don this uniform anymore.

I think I may have a great opportunity to quit Macey's and work with a lovely former college classmate of mine at her very own scrapbooking company, and as she is all the way in Panguitch, Utah, we were thinking an ftp site might be the way to go. So if anyone can send me in the right direction for getting something like that set up, I would totally owe you. Like a painting, or a handmade book, or something of your choosing.

Lot's of love,

Megan

I'm not much of a scrapbooker. Nevertheless, I love her patterns. Check them out here: collagepress. It's just a little depressing to see that all my classmates have gone on to illustrate books and start companies and have kids and etc and here I am working in a grocery store. Wouldn't you know, two of my classmates have come through my line at macey's. I'm having a bit of a difficult time dealing with it right now.

an amazing feeling

2007-10-24T14:37:00.000-06:00

After getting home from work at midnight last night, I pretty much got some pajamas on and fell into bed. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep before 12:30. Here's the good part: I didn't wake up a single time until 6:34 a.m.!

What an absolutely wonderful feeling to sleep six straight uninterrupted hours!

Absolutely wonderful!

rude people make me cross

2007-10-23T09:34:00.000-06:00

I know I should try and be understanding and all, maybe someone is just having a bad day or something, but when you work in a retail store, you're paid to be nice right? Even if you're having a bad day? I know where I currently work, if you're rude you get a warning and if it happens again you get fired. Even when I'm having a bad day, I am not allowed to be rude to the "guests"(that's how they refer to their customers), and even if I was, my own personal rules of conduct do not permit me to be rude.

So, mister-not-nice-guy at Waldenbooks, you may not know it, but you just lost a customer, I'm boycotting you and your store, grumpy-rude-person-man. So there!

which austen heroine are you?

2007-10-01T19:07:00.000-06:00

Take the Quiz here!

Karalenn posted this quiz on her blog, and I thought it would be fun. It was. :)

TAG I'M IT ALREADY

2007-09-26T14:10:00.000-06:00

So, I've been tagged. Let's see if I can get this done (I've already done it partially and lost half of it) before Oliver wakes up.

Jobs I've held:

1. Fabric girl at Clothworld (currently Joann's)
2. Bookkeeper
3. Deli Girl
4. Newspaper advertising artist/screensaver clean-up artist
5. Illustrator
6. Portrait Painter
7. Graphic Designer
8. Mother
9. And now, in addition to the Mother job--which is full-time--I'm a bagger. Well, the title is Courtesy Clerk.

Movies I can watch over and over:

1.Little Women
2. While You Were Sleeping
3.Drop Dead Gorgeous
4.MST3K the movie
When I was in high school I used to watch Heidi (the one with Maximillian Schell in it) and/or Land Before Time over and over and over again.

Places I have lived:

1. Utah
2. Brazil
3. Washington State
4. Utah

Shows I enjoy:

I love the BBC's Doctor Who. Too bad we don't get it here in the States, we have to wait for last years season to come out on DVD. It's still worth it though, I love it. I usually enjoy the Office, too. And I used to watch all of the rachel ray and alton brown episodes on food network.

Places I have been for vacation:

1. Seattle
2. San Diego
3. Redwood Forest in Cali
4. Denver (if you can count one day on a high school trip!)
5. Disneyland with the high school band
6. England, but I wouldn't call it a vacation, I'd mostly call it a hellish nightmare.
7. Idaho
8. St. George

Favorite Foods:

1. Pretzels from Auntie Ann's, but Pretzelmaker will do in a pinch.
2. Mom's homemade ice cream. And pies. And rolls. And cinnamon rolls. Well, basically, Mom's homemade anything!
3. Chocolate chip cookies. Homemade.
4. I used to really love hummus on a toasted bagel, but it's been a looong time.
5. I used to love Thai until an unfortunate encounter forever has altered my preference.
6. Chicken Tika Masala from Bombay House with Naan Bread.

Websites I visit:

1. all the blogs that are linked on my blog, and a few more. knitting, crafting, and momming sites.
2. imdb and amazon all of the time
3. google and wikipedia
4. orem city library catalog

No nicknames - Nutmeg, Meglet and Meg or Megs are all close to my heart.
I've also been called Megzipan, Megagan, Moogan, Megabutt, Megmum, Megalishus, Megalith, and Martha.

If you read this and haven't already been tagged (I think the five people that read this blog have already done it) then consider yourself tagged. You may proceed. Oh, and let me know if you do, so I can read your blog and learn a little about you.

Bring Mister Rogers Back!

2007-09-05T13:23:00.000-06:00

I got up on Tuesday morning and thought I'd look for the upcoming episodes of Mister Rogers Neighborhood. Oliver and I have been watching random episodes all summer long. Oliver really likes it, and I really like it. I have no problem letting him watch this program. I have some beef with some other children's programs, but I still let him watch them. Some people may mock and call Mister Rogers corny or boring or annoying, and they roll their eyes, but I like him. I'm so glad Oliver got over his teletubbies fixation (thank heavens that only lasted a week) and started asking for "ahrjers" instead. So yes, back to the point, I got up on Tuesday to look for the upcoming episodes, and Mister Rogers Neighborhood was nowhere to be found on the list. I kept thinking I had made some kind of mistake, and looked three different times (if not more). But, nope, no more episodes. I finally found a tiny paragraph on a wikipedia article that reads, "On September 3rd Labor Day Mr. Rogers will be no longer be aired by some PBS affiliates to make way for the shows Super Why and Word World."

Well, I tell you what, I don't get annoyed at PBS very much, but I'm really annoyed at KBYU and KUED right now. Anybody have any ideas on how I can talk them into putting mister rogers back on the air? Maybe we were the only two people in Utah that watched mister rogers. Sigh. I guess it's pretty likely.

I'm back, and true confessions

2007-08-25T11:26:00.000-06:00

Well, we again have internet access. That was probably the stupidest decision I have made in the last quarter (I've been making some real winners) to disconnect the internet. I did it with the intent to save money, but as a result of that decision no money was saved, and a bunch was spent, not to mention the time and inconvenience of hauling a stubborn toddler and an iMac 9 miles sometimes twice a day (stupid naptime routine). Wouldn't you know as soon as we get internet access back, suddenly prices on gas plummet. So I guess you all have me to thank for the lower gas prices, heh, heh. I wasn't getting any freelance assignments when I made the decision, but wouldn't you know, a week after we cancel the internet the work starts rolling in.

The really ironic thing is that I'm typing this blog entry from Kyle's laptop at Mom and Dad's. Ollie is currently entirely distracted by the three children and daschund that are playing downstairs (thanks, guys!)

The only way I can get anything done is when Oliver is sleeping or if there are plenty of cousins around to distract him from tormenting me with his constant tantrums. He thinks that I am his personal jungle gym, and climbs all over me, pulls my hair, sits on my face. I thought his tantrums were bad before, and I thought that once he learned to speak it would just get easier to communicate and he wouldn't need to throw himself on the floor, or throw his toys (or head) at my head (I think I broke my nose on Monday). Boy was I ever wrong. His vocabulary is EXPLODING. And this is bad. The last three days have been such a string of tantrums that it feels like I have lived a month and not three days. And believe me, if there was some reason that he was throwing the tantrum that I could give in to, I would go against all parenting wisdom and TOTALLY give in to him. But I'm not even given that escape, because he and I have not an inkling on what will make him happy. I just don't understand where this demon possessed child has come from, it's like one morning he woke up and decided that nothing whatsoever in the world is right, and there is no distracting him from this determination. I've been reduced to living each moment feeling as if I'm walking on egg shells, because anything, literally ANY WRONG MOVEMENT might set him off. There is just now telling what it might be. It could be as simple as opening the wrong book, or putting a toothbrush on the wrong side of the counter top, or opening the wrapping on a granola bar. And after he has started into his mad tirade, there is no stopping him. I've tried ignoring him and shutting myself in my bedroom, but after 30 minutes of screaming and listening to the house be destroyed, I'm at my wits end. What's a person to do? So I grab the writhing, kicking, hitting, throwing, screaming demon-creature and try to stuff him into the car or into a stroller before he does himself more harm, and if I'm really really really lucky, he might be distracted enough from his personal hell to give me some peace form mine. And then we're back to the eggshells. It's enough to make a person a raving lunatic. And believe me. I HAVE. Maybe raving isn't an accurate description, though. Perhaps roaring, screaming, yelling, irrational, toddler-ish lunatic would be more accurate?

How does one use time-outs on such a child? When the tantrum has no obvious set-off and the poor behavior is the tantrum itself? "You get a time-out because you are pitching a fit?" Sit in this chair for 2 minutes until you can stop crying and act like a calm reasonable human being? Yeah, that'll happen. If he's screaming and kicking and pounding my door for THIRTY minutes, two minutes in a time-out chair are going to work wonders.

So, yeah, welcome to life with a two-year old, Megan. It's all you dreamed it would be, and more.

I'm reminded of sitting in one of my first college courses, I was taking Intro to Child Development, and the professor was saying that it might come as a big surprise to all of us, but there were definitely some times that our parents did not like us. And I WAS surprised, because I only ever thought of my parents as loving me ALWAYS. Which, I really am certain they do and always have and always will LOVE me. But it had never occured to me that they might not LIKE me. And now I understand. I do LOVE Oliver. But currently, I'm not much in like with him. I just really hope it is a stage, because if I've lived a month in three days, what kind of lifetimes am I going to live in the next 5, 18, 30, 50 years?

Character building, I suppose. What doesn't kill me, breaks me, right? And supposedly I'm supposed to be stronger for it, but I think I'm just uglier and nastier and setting a horrible example for Oliver of how to cope with desperation.

I guess you never really know yourself until you have kids.

anyone know

2007-05-23T18:12:00.001-06:00

anyone know a good remedy for maple syrup on sand-colored berber carpet? Sigh. I give up.

four more days

2007-05-22T15:52:00.000-06:00

it turns out I have to turn the modem back in to the comcast people for them to cancel the service (der, I didn't think of that--it makes sense) and since the billing period ends the 26th, I'll just wait until this friday or saturday to turn it in. So I have a few more days of blogging.

I have been doing some self-reflection and was surprised to find how quickly and easily I have turned into a consumer in the last few years. I always considered myself fairly frugal and careful with money, due to the great teaching I received from my parents (both by their example and by their teaching) and from brothers and sisters. But the last years I began to relax, and now it has caught up with me with a terrible vengeance.

Not that I really have gone to any extravagent measures to obtain expensive nice possessions. No, it's really been little trips to the grocery store and to wal-mart nearly everyday (when macey's, k-mart, and target are all within easy walking distance, well...) and buying expensive groceries, like organic milk and yogurt, or buying little toys and trinkets for Oliver on every trip. And not reducing my spending to match my reduced income. And using the car WAY too much.

So I started last week with a vow to live on our food "storage." I'm not really sure how long the food will last, but I haven't been to the store for a week (except to buy some eggs--the cheap kind, not the expensive organic kind I used to buy). The milk and yogurt are sorely missed, but we have powdered milk for a little while, and I bought some eggs with our penny jar. It's a good thing Oliver doesn't drink milk anyway, otherwise this might be even harder to do. And my new mode of transportation is my bike, or my own two feet. It's a good thing I only have Oliver, otherwise, I don't know what I would do about carting kids around. So I'm going to take advantage of this time when I only have one child and really learn to live on less. I want to get to a point where we can live within our means. Really do it this time, and stay that way. And maybe save. Because trying to save while racking up consumer debt is absolutely pointless--in my opinion. I don't know if anyone has proven that fact financially somewhere.

Drastic circumstances call for drastic measures. Or something like that. How does that saying go?

It's great when gas is so expensive, because now I can say I saved even more by not driving somewhere! Like, I didn't drive to Grandma Dee's last wednesday, I took Oliver on our bike. So I figure I saved $1.20 just that one trip! Of course, the bike seat cost me $30.00 last fall, and it could very well be argued that I shouldn't have purchased it, because we really didn't have the money for it then, even less now, and I'll have to use it at that distance 20 somewad more times to make it pay for itself, so I won't actually be saving money for a while, but hey, I'm not spending anymore, eh?

It's also pretty lucky that I have a child who enjoys being in the stroller or on the bike or in the wagon so much, who thinks that a walk over to Jiffy Lube to see their crazy-dancing-air-sock-man-thing (do you know what I'm talking about?) is the best thing that we do in a day.

So does anyone know someone who can give me a free haircut? Because I might just take matters into my own hands.

goodbye for now

2007-05-21T12:09:00.000-06:00

Hey, everyone, I'm cancelling our internet service for a while to save money. So I won't be hanging around these parts much. I'll try to catch up on everyone's blogs and emails periodically, like at my parents or kevin's work or something. It's been fun! See ya!

they make me drool

2007-05-20T14:04:00.000-06:00

I love this blog. If you like patterns, (I am currently infatuated with them) you might enjoy it, also.

book club

2007-04-18T14:05:00.000-06:00

The Enrichment group for our Book Club met again last night. We met here at my apartment, so it was a little crazy for me, trying to wrangle the child and get the house into a more comfortable state of cleanliness. Everyone made ME decide (because it was my house, heh, heh) what we were going to read next (no pressure, huh!) and so the only thing that I could think of (that none of us has read yet) off the top of my head was the Princess Diaries that my niece Casey has enjoyed so much. (Boy, I think that was a terribly constructed sentence--maybe it doesn't even count as a real sentence. Am too lazy to go back and fix it) I hope they all enjoy it, I hope it was the right choice! So that's next on our list.
Over the last month I've read these books and really enjoyed them.

trying to find new "clothes" for your blog

2007-04-05T21:29:00.000-06:00

is so much easier and more satisfying than actually trying to find clothes for your own body. Wouldn't you agree? Perhaps part of it is the fact that it's pretty darn close to being free when you finally do decide. And then if you change your mind--say the template shrinks after a few washings, and it's just ill-fitting, or maybe you just are tired of looking at it and wearing it day after day, ill-fitting though it is--you can just go "shopping" again, and try a new style, color, and feel. Voila! A new you.

Maybe I should change my blog template every time I post. Though that might be confusing to you, my dear reader, not knowing what colors will assault your senses at any given time. Never knowing if this is megan's blog, or some stranger from half-way accross the world. Perhaps there is comfort and good in familiarity, after all.

If you haven't tried out Blogger's new "Page Elements" features, as I hadn't until just now, you should have a look at it, it's really nifty. And fun!

Have a fab day!

The hardest thing in the world to understand

2007-03-29T21:57:00.000-06:00

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
- Albert Einstein, physicist

I support the FairTax. If you do, too, please send a fax to your congressmen! I did!

As I was thinking about this post, I realized that probably not everyone will be as enthusiastic as I currently am about abolishing the income tax. Probably the majority of everyone I know actually gets a tax return every year, as opposed to having to pay out thousands of dollars every year. But if you read the book, you'll see how much better the FairTax is--even better than getting a return. You get to take home ALL your pay, and you don't have to go through the gigantic headache of filing your taxes. It really is better for the economy, better for businesses, better for senior citizens (eventually) better for EVERYBODY. And if you haven't read the FairTax book, trust me. Or go to FairTax.org and see what you can glean from the website. Or talk to me.

Let's take America back. Let's make the government work for US, instead of vice versa.

Ollie, have I failed you?

2007-03-21T15:36:00.000-06:00

Since before Oliver was born, actually ever since I heard an NPR program in 2004, it was my intention to not introduce television to Oliver for as long as possible. Not because I think television is inherently evil, or that I want to be some weirdo, wacko, anti-entertainment dictator of a parent, but just because in my heart I believed that I would be doing Oliver a favor. In my imagination I saw myself playing with my children, playing outside or playing make-believe with whatever we could find, and I also envisioned my children being able to entertain themselves and fully enjoying their limitless imaginations. The NPR program, by the way, was an interview with Juliet Schor, who has written books about the influence of media (particularly marketing) on children. She said that she had observed some rather striking differences between children that grew up with out television entirely and children who have grown up with video games and television and computer games, and how the latter didn't seem to know how to really play or imagine. I remember her talking about a child playing very imaginatively with simply some acorns. And it has stuck with me, and I really wanted to give that as a gift to Oliver (in my mind, I imagine it as me doing him a favor). Then I came upon the American Association of Pediatrics recommendation that children under 2 should not be exposed to ANY television whatsoever, and I felt like I had someone to back me up. I vowed to myself I would not use the TV as a babysitter. That's where I went wrong, I think. I also had vowed to myself that I would be the flossing-NAZI so that my kids wouldn't have such miserable dentist appointments as I do. And I've already failed miserably with that vow, along with giving him fluoride consistently, and at an appropriate time so that milk doesn't cancel it out. sigh, I'm getting off the subject...

In any case, I did a pretty darn good job about not exposing Oliver to ANY television, until he was 15 months old. Not that it was really that difficult when he was that young, anyway, because he wasn't interested. Well, one morning when he was fifteen months old, I couldn't stand his crankiness and he wouldn't leave me alone, and it was 5:00 am and I couldn't even wash a single dish without him yanking on my pant legs and screaming, and (not that I'm trying to excuse myself AT ALL, I'm just showing my point of weakness) and I turned on Signing Time and said, "watch this, and just leave me alone for five minutes!" and I went and finished the dishes. He only watched a few minutes those first few times, but ever since he figured out how to turn on the television he wants to watch ALL OF THE TIME! He watches hours and hours of signing time everyday, and even when we tried to hide the TV (which is hard on Kevin's back) he figured out that it was hidden and wouldn't rest until we could put it back and turn it on. (It's cute how he signs signing time, too, I should get a picture of it.) I do realize that I can say "no" and let it be at that. But seriously, how many parents can deal with a tantrum every 15 minutes? Or annoying pestering and whining? So I've just given in, and I feel terribly guilty that I didn't at least make it until he was two years old before I turned him into a couch potato (actually, I was hoping that if I held out that long, maybe he wouldn't be very interested, and he would rather play than sit and watch hours and hours of television). Most of it is because I hate listening to his tantrums, and he can be VERY stubborn with his tantrums. I'd much rather dodge a tantrum than live through it, but we're past the ability of saying, "all gone" or "it's broken!" because Oliver knows better. He is one smart cookie. And he knows how I loathe his tantrums, and takes complete advantage of that. So "no" doesn't exactly work. Distractions don't work like they used to, and even then it ended up being more work than I liked, because it used to be I could say, "want to cook some eggs?" and let him crack the eggs (and make a mess) and that would buy me 15 or so minutes. Or I'd let him play in the flour, or in the refrigerator, or in my make-up, or with play-dough, or with markers. But you can only crack so many eggs, and only so many kitchen messes you can live with after a while before you are saying, "stop making that noise (it makes me want to pull my hair out!) go watch TV and let me clean this disaster up!" ARgh.

So in my mind, the only solution that I can come up with that doesn't involve tantrums is to get rid of the TV altogether. But it's not really an option, because we would have to store our entertainment center somewhere (where? anyone want to buy it?) because even the empty entertainment center is a reminder, and Oliver will throw his tantrum until we put the TV back. I don't know. I just can't see a solution that would work for both Kevin and Oliver. And it IS really nice to get the kitchen clean without an interruption every three minutes. Or read a book for that matter. But what kind of problems am I setting myself up for down the road? And poor Oliver! I'm totally limiting his potential! If I hadn't turned the TV on that fateful day, he may have been a GENIUS! heh. I'm exaggerating, I know, but every time I put signing time on for him (it's the only TV he gets to watch, except for the occasional blip of real TV that comes through when the TiVo flips back to live television) I can't help but wonder how many brain cells I'm killing, or how many opportunities for playing and learning and interacting we are missing because he wants to sit and watch TV.

I almost wonder if he would be less interested in TV if I had let him be exposed to it from the beginning of his life, and if I didn't make such a huge deal to myself about it.

I just can't think of a good solution.

Here is my attempt at rationalization: But everyone lets their kids watch TV? Right? and they're okay? Right? It's the weird kids that don't watch TV? I'm helping Oliver to not become the playground pariah, right?

I went to a "ready to learn" workshop, and the coordinator there said that she has a good friend that is a preschool teacher that says every year she gets fewer and fewer students who know how to play. and more and more kids who want to be entertained. And this was exactly what I was hoping to be able to help Oliver learn--to play! to entertain himself! to have fun with simple things! to interact and be creative and enjoy life (not that I have been an example for that, oh, dear).

Ollie, I'm sorry I have failed you.

Happy Birthday

2007-03-04T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hope you have a fabulous birthday, Monica!

I'm making cookies (cause I can't seem to master cakes) in your honor.

the new 'do

2007-02-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

P & P revisited

2007-02-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

Last week I read and finished Pride and Prejudice again. I read that Stephenie Meyer loosely based Twilight on Pride and Prejudice, and so I wanted to revisit one of my favorite stories. I did enjoy it--however, I was surprised that I didn't love it as much as I remember. I think it had to do with the fact that after I finished it, I flipped back to the front and read the little--well, it was actually kind of long--Introduction. The critical essay thinger that they always put in the front of classical literature, you know? Well, it kind of ruined the book for me, and I kind of wish I hadn't read it at all. Before, it was just a lovely love story, you know, and "friends become enemies, enemies become friends," the whole sweet deal, heh. But now, after reading the introduction, it's not a love story at all but a bitter irony playing out Jane Austen's (the ironist) rage. Peh. Why'd I have to go and do that?

P.S. Kevin made me an awesome mixtape for Twilight. It's like an awesome "soundtrack" for the book. It's called "Twibute" and I love it, thanks Kevin!

momentarily diverted from income tax activism

2007-01-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

This is going to turn out to be a long rambling, and probably confusing post. Just warning you.

My sister-in-law loaned me two books that she said she had read and really enjoyed. She's loaned me lots of books--and I've always really enjoyed each and every one of them, and have been grateful for her recommendations and for sharing the books with me so that I wouldn't have to go through the library or have to purchase the books. These books have included: Because of Winn-Dixie, Peter and the Star-Catchers, Peter and the Shadow Thieves, The Goose Girl (actually, all of Shannon Hale's books) Pictures of Hollis Woods...all really fabulous books. Well, I was a little doubtful about the last set that she loaned to me. She had told me last year that she would have never ever read these books, due to the subject matter, but she had to give a presentation or something, and so thought she would just "scan" the book and ended up reading and becoming so engrossed that she didn't sleep the whole night to finish the book.

Well, despite the track record of recommendations from her, I rather skeptically brought the books home, thinking I'd get around to them whenever, and have to take little bites here and there over an extended period of time. I should know myself better, though, I get so absorbed in a story, I just get frustrated when I have to take it in little pieces, and so end up just plowing through. Even books that I have read before, like the Chronicles of Narnia or Persuasion. (Those familiar ones are a little easier to take in bites, though, than a new story, but still.)

Well, last Tuesday, I picked up the first of the set that she gave me, called Twilight. I read the first chapter, thinking I could maybe do a chapter at a time. Which was fine with the first chapter. I have to admit, I was curious due to the subject matter (vampires) because I've never been interested in that type of story, EVER, but because Vicki liked it so much, I was curious. The curiosity pulled me through the first chapter, and then I HAD to find out, and then--I was hooked. I finished the book on Thursday morning, and then picked up the next book (New Moon) and finished that one by Friday. You have to understand, I've been obsessive about sleeping what with Oliver and his continuous night-wakings or extremely early mornings, and I got three hours of sleep two nights in a row because I just had to finish these books (it's rather hard to read when Oliver is awake). And then I picked up the first book again (Twilight) and finished it yesterday. It was just as good as the first time around. I could read it again, and I don't think I would still be tired of it. I'm itching to read New Moon again, the only thing stopping me is that I have so much to do Wednesday and Thursday. But I'm obsessed! I've been to her website and I just can't get enough of her characters! I would have to say that I love this book as much as I love Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice. And that is really saying a lot, because I really, really, love those books.

I guess this is just to say that I loved the books, they are fabulous, and if you are in the mood to become completely absorbed in a fictional story, these are the books for you. I highly, highly recommend them. However, I must warn you that if you don't want to get as hung up as I am right now, don't read the second book, New Moon. Twilight holds together itself as a complete, finished story, but I couldn't get enough of the characters and that is why I continued on with New Moon. But if you can read the first one and not read the second one, let me know! I'm so unsatisfied, (think: the last Pirates of the Carribean movie unsatisfied) and can't wait until September for the next book. And then I will have to wait an entire year for the next book, and another year or more or forever for the last book, which is really the one I am dying to read at this moment.

I would love to meet Stephenie Meyer and get my books signed (I went out and bought them the day I gave them back to Vicki, heh, because I was already to read them again, because I can't get enough of her characters!) She'll be here in Provo on Friday and Saturday at the Provo library but I think it's an exclusive club pary and then an expensive symposium the next day. Oh, well.

Here's the weird part, and I don't know if it's just because I'm kind of a freak, and perhaps overly sentimental or something? I don't know what it is, but after I read a really good book like that, I get a little depressed. Or melancholy, perhaps is a better word. Perhaps its because it was such a good story, and then, it's over. Is it because I was so absorbed in the story, that for a few days I became "friends" with the characters, and then I have to say goodbye, never to see them again? Am I mourning the end of the book? Am I sad because real-life is just not as fabulous as a story? Or is it simply because I've had my decadent indulgence and have to face the chores and mundanity of everyday life again? I don't know exactly what it is, maybe it is somehow all of those things combined. But what I'm curious to know, is if anyone else in the world ever feels that way after reading a fabulous book or seeing a really really good movie. Or is it just me?

Just finished reading this book

2007-01-16T11:54:00.000-07:00

If anyone wants to borrow it from me and read it, please do. I would love to discuss it with someone, and I have a few questions. There is one aspect of H.R.25 that I still can't seem to wrap my head around. Also, I'd be curious to know which side of the "revolution" you are on, and why.

anniversario

2006-12-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me again. Durr, the thing about birthdays, is they comes once a year, innit?

And happy birthday to my blog.

Wow, it's been a year. And boy howdy has it ever been a year for me.

Here is a little montage. It's probably overkill, but hey, it IS my birthday after all. I can overindulge this once, eh?

help?

2006-12-22T12:22:00.000-07:00

can someone take Oliver this afternoon after he wakes up from his nap (probably at around 2:00)? I feel I've reached the end of my rope again.

love these little paintings

2006-12-14T13:50:00.000-07:00

I found this artist's blog through loobylu.com. I can't tell you how much i love her little paintings and things! Love! Also, they make me feel a little sad that I never had the confidence to do what I really enjoyed and make little things and paint little illustrations and blah, blah, you get the idea. And now I'm afraid I don't have the luxury anymore. I guess I have another more important work to attend to, who's name is Oliver. Who is waking up now, so I must wrap this up...

Finished at last

2006-12-14T13:29:00.000-07:00

At last! The (nearly) never-ending portrait is finished. CELEBRATION TIME, COME ON! Seriously, not that I didn't enjoy it at times, but when it comes down to it, it is SUCH a relief to no longer have the nagging voice in my brain saying "finish the portrait, finish the portrait" for three years! Now I can move on to the other children's portraits.

Unfortunately, I have also recently been commissioned another painting, and even more difficult subject matter, and how long will this one take me? It is supposedly supposed to be finished next weekend, and as I have not started due to devoting my time to the other portrait, this is impossible. However, I vow that it will not take me three years again.

I feel a little hesitant to post the finished portrait, but if you would like to see it and it's companion portrait (his sister's portrait that I finished three years ago Christmas Eve) then just email me and I will be happy to email it them to you. But if you don't want to see it, then that's fine, too. :)

Seriously, CELEBRATION TIME! Let's all have a piece of chocolate (with some caramel and nuts thrown in for good measure).

Yeah.

I just love a good guessing game

2006-12-09T09:05:00.000-07:00

I just love a good guessing game. Lets play another game! Let's play another game! I love to guess everything from A to Z. I love to guess everyday things and everyday thoughts and everyday conversation. It just makes conversation so interesting when I'm in the dark, especially when it is for no apparent reason but to chafe me. And if not for that, just for your personal upperhandedness. It just is so enjoyable. I hope it isn't long before our next guessing game! Let's play another game! Let's play another game!

when the world stops for a few scary moments

2006-11-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

Well, Oliver and I had quite an exciting Wednesday morning this week. It's taken me over two days to finally calm down about it and post about it.

I had my first experience with the paramedics. Boy am I glad that 911 exists. And were they ever fast!

So let me back up a little. It was a normal Wednesday morning. We had blown Kevin kisses as he left for work out the door, and I was wondering what I would do to fill the time up sans tantrums before we could go to storytime at 10:30. I made my way into the bathroom to try to put some make-up on and comb my hair, and of course, Oliver followed me, and rather than fight about mascara and lipstick with him, I decided I'd go start dishes or start packing his diaper bag, so I walked into the kitchen, fully expecting him to follow me. Oh, my stars, he must have found something to entertain himself for five minutes, because I found myself alone at last with the dishes. I started to fill the sink up with hot water, turned around and saw Oliver running toward me with a red face, gagging and choking. I had no idea what he was choking on--I grabbed him and turned him on my stomach and started pounding him on his back--a response that I don't think he had been expecting or that he welcomed very much, because he started screaming in between chokes and coughs and gags. I was praying outloud for some kind of help, I felt so helpless. He vomited up what appeared to be some popcorn, and finally (it seemed like a long time, but I think it couldn't have been a full minute) I dialed 911. Gave all my information through a wailing, coughing, gagging, vomiting child, and within a few minutes an officer showed up, and then the paramedics came in, but by then I think Oliver was all right. They checked his oxygen, didn't get a great reading, but said he appeared fine, had me sign a release form and strongly advised me to see a pediatrician or go to the er. which I did within 20 minutes because thankfully they are just down the street from us. (I opted for the pediatrician, as the ER scares me what with the scary stuff going on and the expense--not that I've ever actually stepped foot in an ER, but I've seen enough television....heh)

I wish I had waited at least until the end of the day, because the pediatrician said Oliver's lungs sounded fine, and they checked his oxygen levels, which were okay, too. but that afternoon Oliver started wheezing like nobody's business, and hasn't stopped since. Sometimes it sounds like there are simultaneous in and out breaths or something, it is the strangest, and most disturbing thing. I still worry about him, but I think I'm just being an over-anxious mother, the doctor said he was fine, and so did the paramedic, so he's probably just fine. I just can't help having visions of popcorn kernels stuck in his lungs forever.

Lest you think I am as negligent as it sounds, what with allowing Oliver to eat popcorn, well, confessions: actually I AM that negligent. The popcorn was in the trash, and he actually got it out of the trash and ate it. And earlier that morning he was sucking on a few marbles, which is why I panicked so much when I saw him chocking, I was certain he had found another marble. I guess it's high time we childproofed the place. What will I do then? Oliver doesn't play with his toys. I guess it'll just be more following me around constantly, or destruction of everything so I can get a moments peace (or dinner made). Or maybe it's high time I introduced Oliver to movies or tv so I can actually get something DONE around here. Or at least thumb through a catalog and eat a cookie, for heaven's sake.

happy halloween!

2006-10-31T13:27:00.000-07:00

I hope that like mine, it's filled with lots of cute furry hugs, and many good things to eat.

happy b-day smellame

2006-10-27T13:22:00.000-06:00

Love you, girl!

note to self

2006-10-14T15:22:00.000-06:00

note to self: visit the canyon in autumn to see the beautiful colors BEFORE October 2.

baby signs

2006-09-28T09:43:00.000-06:00

Within the last week or two, Oliver has been using about six signs. The first one I recognized was when he was looking at Sandra Boynton's "but not the hippopotomus" board book. The second page is "a cat and two rats are trying on hats" and one day I looked over at him, his little legs crossed, sitting on the floor, book open to that page, patting his head. I immediately said, "That's right, hat!" And he's been signing "hat" like crazy ever since. He now consistently does the sign for ball, airplane, dog, and the sweetest of all is the sign for baby. Maybe we can get that one on video. I'm fairly certain he has been trying out the signs for "sand," "hot," "play." and "help." I'm just surprised that he has chosen some of those random ones, like "hat" and "baby" that I have shown probably only once or twice, and he has yet to do "eat" or "more" or "duck" which I have done probably a thousand times each. But it is so thrilling to me that when an airplane flys over, he will look into my eyes and sign "airplane" and I'll acknowledge it, he'll sign it a few more times and go on about his playing. We just had a "conversation" about an airplane! Amazing. Just amazing.
The picture is just after an airplane flew over head, and he just finished signing "airplane." It was actually a helicopter, I think, but I forgot what the sign for "helicopter" is, and I think it might be confusing to him anyway.

painting update, nearly done

2006-09-26T10:34:00.000-06:00

I've just got to paint the yellow lab and do the finishing touches and I'll be done. What do you think?

workin on the chains, chay-eee-ayns.

2006-09-16T10:02:00.000-06:00

Man, do I ever hate chain letters. Hate. But here I am, trying to scrape up some names of people to "obligate" to participate, because I didn't have the spine to just say no to the person who sent me the chain letter. Sure, children's books are fun to get, and in theory getting 36 for the price of one is fabulous, but, eh, at the price of annoying 6 other people? Please. And yet, I don't want to let the friend down that sent me the letter and is expecting the books two weeks ago. Ugh.

Anyone care to participate? I don't care about getting books myself, I just don't want to let my "friend" down.

P.S. So, I'm apologizing in advance, if you receive a chain letter. Sorry, sorry! you don't have to do anything with the letter if you don't desire to. I'm just trying to relieve my own guilt here.

It's yer berfday

2006-09-05T13:12:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday, Micquel. I told you I would make you a cake. So when you gonna come get some? :) I don't know where you live or even your phone number, so I guess you might get some belated birthday cake after all, besides, you probably have a HOT BIRTHDAY DATE or something. At least I hope you do, and that you have a very lovely, smashing, delightful birthday. Alas, your teenage partying is over. (It is your twentieth, isn't it? Oh, dear, won't I be embarassed if you are turning twenty-one. Shoot. I think you are. I should have double checked before I made this beyond awesome illustration for you.) Either way, do enjoy your day!

love ya!
Meg

kisses for everyone

2006-08-16T21:08:00.000-06:00

Our bedtime routine for Oliver for about the last week has been that after he has his P.J.s on, Kevin has to read him a story and I have to leave. Before I leave we have hugs and kisses. Tonight, before I left, I kissed Kevin then Oliver, and then Oliver held up his little bear for me to kiss. So I did. How delightful!

painting progress

2006-08-16T14:13:00.000-06:00

Okay, so this is kind of cheating, because this is progress I made before I burned out and Oliver's sleep went haywire again. But it is progress nonetheless, and I am hereby posting it as such to keep my promise. (Cheater!)

Also, this is more for me than anyone else, since I still haven't gotten a baby book together, I just want to post the latest news on Oliver, so at least it will be recorded somewhere. He is now officially a toddler. On Saturday last week (Aug. 12) he just stood up walked toward kevin in the kitchen, then quickly fell, but about 20 minutes later, he picked a book of the bookshelf, and I said, "go take that book to Dad so he can read it to you." And that's exactly what he did. Both times he walked about a yard. What a sight to see your baby up and walking! It's strange and wonderful and scary and exciting. He didn't do it anymore until Monday, and since Monday he's been walking all over the place. He falls A LOT, and I think it is quite frustrating for him, but he is getting better and better at it. I feel a little jipped, in a way, though, because I remember younger siblings and neices and nephews walking between parents or two people back and forth, you know, with applauding audiences and whatnot. But Oliver hasn't ever really done that, he has nearly always walked AWAY from me or Kevin, almost like, "I've got things to do, people. I've just been holding back on you, I've been able to walk for this whole time, I just chose not to. What's all the fuss about, anyway?" Heh.

He also bites and hits and pinches and throws things, among which are tantrums. I have no idea what to do about any of those things.
And he is currently (as I type) refusing to take a nap. Aaargh. So this is it. I can't help myself from thinking, "so, this is it. This is your life. This is what you've been preparing (supposedly) yourself for for however many years, it was always in the future, just an imagining. And now here you are. This is it."

Moderation

2006-08-13T13:29:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I went a little crazy and gung-ho last month, and I totally burned through all gumption for anything. Also, I somehow let myself get roped into being the treasurer for our Home Owner's Association, so I've been learning Quickbooks and billing, and making deposits and going to Presidency meetings. Eesh.

But I still need to finish my paintings. I was hoping by August I would be done, but yet again I have to push my deadline back. Let's give me another deadline. Let's say, by Oliver's birthday. So, by Wednesday this week, I hereby commit to have progress on the painting, and I will post said progress here at that time.

Wish me luck.

Enrichment fun

2006-08-05T19:13:00.000-06:00

I'm on the Enrichment committee, and so I get to do the posters, flyers and sign-ups. I had a lot of fun this time. Here's one of the flyers:

he sleeps folded in half

2006-08-04T20:04:00.000-06:00

It can't be good, but if I try to move him, lay him out flat, he just wakes up and we start all over again. Right now he is sleeping with his forehead on top of the bumper pad, with both hands on the railing above the bumper pad. Like a poor little jail bird! Here is a sketch of him and his little bear, all folded in half. Can it be good? It just can't be good. What should I do?

Proof of my cruelty and child abuse

2006-08-03T14:50:00.000-06:00

So, welcome back to aich-eee-double-hockey-stick. Heh. How's that one for ya? No, last night I endured an hour and twenty minutes of screaming before I gave in and just held Oliver in the recliner. Kevin took the morning shift and held him from 4 until 6 or so. So for the afternoon nap, I decided to start over with the sleep lady shuffle. So I sat in the room after putting Oliver in his crib, with my head down, only offering "shhh, shhh, love you, lay down and go to sleep, sweet dreams," now and then. I put him in his crib at 1:28, and I can't get him out for one hour. At one hour, I'm supposed to leave the room, come back and say, "you must not have been tired" and get him out and try again later. I honestly thought I was going to have to do that. I had a little scare, because at 2:24 he was still so hopping mad, he was jumping up and down and knocked his chin on the crib railing. I nearly had a heart attack. But I still waited. I was going to get up and go out at 2:28. And that's when Oliver finally flopped down and fell asleep. It took an entire hour of screaming. I can't say I feel good. I'm only relieved I don't have to worry about doing it again in a little while (though, tonight, it's going to be worse!) Here is proof of my child abuse. (I think I'll put the crib bumpers back up, so his feet don't get stuck out like that again, and so he doesn't bump his head. His poor little head!) Forgive the poor quality photo, I didn't want to use a flash, and it is quite dark in there.

My poor little Oliver, I'm so so sorry! I wish I could say it's for your own good, but I'm not exactly sure anymore. Maybe it's for my own good. I guess that's indirectly for your good. I sure hope we can still be friends, and you can forgive me.